What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Do Filipino Kids Need It More Than Ever?

If you’ve ever watched your child cry over a broken toy or melt down because they didn’t get the snack they asked for, you’ve seen emotions take over. And for parents, it can feel overwhelming, too. However, it’s these moments that help teach your kids what emotional intelligence is.

You can guide them to understand and manage their feelings, rather than just reacting to them. And in today’s high-pressure, always-online world, Filipino kids need emotional support more than ever.

You can let your child thrive by helping them develop emotional intelligence. You just have to know what you’re looking for.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

A study in Psychological Inquiry defines emotional intelligence as the ability to accurately identify, express and manage one’s and other’s emotions. It helps them tackle the real-life stuff, from playground squabbles to mealtime negotiations. Think core skills like empathy, self-awareness, self-control, and motivation.

Still, many parents often unintentionally prioritize IQ (intelligence quotient) over emotional quotient (EQ). Why? Because for generations, academic success has been easier to measure and celebrate. Research shows that East Asian families often prioritize grades and test scores above emotional development.

But when we focus too much on book smarts, we may unintentionally overlook the emotional skills that help kids thrive in the real world.

Why Filipino Kids Need Emotional Intelligence More Than Ever

Our children count on us to provide emotional support. 

Remember spending your childhood afternoons playing patintero or tumbang preso with friends? The amount of time we spent outside is probably commensurate with the hours today’s kids spend in front of screens. This excessive screen time, claims a study on digital stress on Filipino students, is linked to higher levels of stress and significantly impacts their well-being.

It’s no wonder that anxiety, bullying, and emotional overload are at an all-time high. This is where emotional intelligence can step in as a true superpower. As a recent study in the International Journal of Research and Innovation in Social Science suggests, having this ability supports your kids’ mental health, helping them build stronger friendships and boosting their resilience to bounce back from setbacks.

Easy Ways to Teach Emotional Intelligence at Home

In many Filipino households, we still hear phrases like “Don’t cry” or “Behave,” which teach kids to bottle up their emotions instead of working through them. If your child seems extra clingy, unusually quiet, or easily frustrated, it could be a sign they need more emotional support. Here’s how to help them express what they feel:

1. Name their emotions.

Instead of telling kids to “Stop crying”, try asking, “Are you feeling sad or are you just hungry?” Helping your child put a name on their feelings builds their emotional expressions. Over time, they’ll learn to say “I’m frustrated” rather than throwing a tantrum.

2. Show how to stay calm.

Kids pick up more from what you do than what you say. When you stay calm during heavy traffic, or if something spills, you’re modeling emotional regulation and self-control. Say out loud, “I’m upset but I’m going to take a deep breath before I react.” This shows your child that emotions are normal and that they don’t have to control you.

3. Use storytelling and pretend play.

Got a younger child? Use dolls or stuffed animals to act out scenarios: a friend who doesn’t want to share, or a bear who misses their mama. Ask, “How do you think teddy feels? This helps kids develop empathy and problem solving in a safe, low-stakes setting.

4. Try journalling, drawing, or role-playing.

If your child struggles to talk about their feelings, offer other ways to express them. Drawing, role-playing or even journalling can help them reflect. Ask them to draw their day: what made them happy, sad, or worried. It’s an easy way to peek into their inner world.

5. Read storybooks that talk about emotions.

Books like the Emotions picture book series and Masaya Ako published by Adarna House weave emotions into familiar, local contexts. Reading together opens up conversations like, “Have you ever felt like that?” For more advanced readers, stories with themes around forgiveness and family work too. 

6. Try toys and games that teach empathy and teamwork.

Look for board games that require cooperation instead of competition. Games like Snug as a Bug or Outfoxed promote teamwork. Emotion flashcards and matching games that pair facial expressions with feelings also help young kids read emotional cues better, especially in group play.

What Schools and Parents Can Do Together

Show your kids how to navigate their emotions one day at a time.

Kids thrive when school and home speak the same emotional language. Research in Child Development shows that when schools offer Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) and parents reinforce those lessons at home, kids show stronger emotional regulation and academic performance. Use those same strategies at home to reinforce what they’ve learned in school.

During parent-teacher conferences, talk about how your child is coping, how they’re getting along with classmates, and whether they’re showing signs of emotional growth. The more aligned parents and educators are, the better supported our kids feel.

It’s tempting to focus only on grades and milestones, but understanding what is emotional intelligence and its role in your child’s development is just as important. While EQ won’t show up on a report card, its impact truly matters. You’ll see it in every hug, every apology, and every moment your child chooses compassion over conflict. And that’s something truly worth nurturing.