Do You Feel Guilty Dating as a Single Mom?

Dating as a single mom often comes with mixed emotions. You feel ready to put yourself out there, yet guilty for leaving your child at home. You’re worried about judgment or being seen as neglectful. 

As a mom, prioritizing yourself can feel uncomfortable, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Dating can be a form of self-care that helps protect your emotional well-being. When loneliness or burnout sets in, it can affect your energy, patience, and presence as a parent. 

On the ParenTeam Moms and Dads Facebook group members who are solo moms have felt the same and shared how they let go of the guilt and date responsibly while staying present for your child.

Dating as Self-Care for Single Moms

A 2020 study on single mothers in Bulacan found that loneliness is one of the most common challenges solo moms face. Mothers who made space for “me time” reported feeling more empowered and more capable of caring for their children.

Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. It’s a practical way to stay emotionally available and show up as the parent your child needs.

As mommy Elay—a 32-year-old mom who is 34 weeks pregnant—said, “Kids deserve a happy mom. If you think dating will make you happy, go for it! Hindi mo naman sya iiwanan sa bahay mag isa, may mag aalaga at mag babantay sa anak mo while you are out somewhere. Being a mom doesn’t mean na hindi mo na prioritize happiness and needs mo.

How to Let Go of Guilt: 4 Ways to “Landi Responsibly”

Once you accept that it is okay to date, the next step is doing it in a way that protects your peace of mind and your child’s well-being.

Another mom, Claudette, a 31-year-old mom of two, coined the perfect term for this: “Landi Responsibly.” Plan it out so your duties as a solo parent are never compromised.

1. Schedule dates around your child.

You don’t have to miss bedtime to go on a date. Try scheduling meet-ups during your lunch break while the kids are at school.

Or, as Gib, a 28-year-old mother of one, advises, “When you go on a date, a time limit should always be set. Do not forget your priorities.” She suggests making sure all your child's needs are met before you leave and stick to a schedule, so you aren't gone for too long.

Mommy Claudette advises planning dates for after work and keeping it short, so you get your social time without cutting into the quality time you spend with your child.

2. Be upfront with your dates.

Honesty is non-negotiable. When you meet someone new, be upfront about your situation. Tell them you have a child and that your little one is your priority. A mature partner will respect this.

If a potential date sees your child as baggage or complains about your schedule, that’s your sign to walk away. You deserve a partner who respects your responsibilities and supports your role as a parent

3. Heal before you open your heart.

Entering the dating scene again requires self-awareness, especially now that your priorities have changed. Before you download that dating app, pause and check in with yourself. Are you aware of the emotional baggage you’re carrying—and how it might affect your choices?

Mommy Leah, a mom of two girls, reminds single moms to reflect on past trauma before dating, so emotions don’t cloud judgment. This is especially important when you have a child, since the people you date may eventually be part of your child’s world, too.

You don’t need to be fully healed to date. What matters is knowing where you are emotionally, setting clear boundaries, and choosing partners who add stability and safety to your life and your child.

4. Keep your dating life separate (at first).

There’s no need to rush introductions. Keep your romance separate from your home life until you’re sure the relationship is serious and stable. Wait until you’ve built a solid foundation. Love can take time, so don't be afraid to take it slow.

Other single moms have introduced their partners as friends first. One mom said her child and partner became so close that the child started calling him "Daddy" naturally. 

Letting Go of Guilt While Putting Your Child First

Guilt is just a feeling, not the truth. You’re already doing a great job providing for and protecting your child. Opening your heart again doesn't mean you love your child any less. It means you’re making space for your own happiness, too. There’s no limit to the love you can give, and choosing yourself doesn’t take anything away from your child.

So, wear that dress. Go on that date. Landi responsibly. You deserve to be a happy, fulfilled single mom.

If you ever need reassurance or advice along the way, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Connect with other parents in the ParenTeam Moms and Dads Facebook group and share your experiences as a single mom.