How to Create a Birth Plan Without Losing Your Peace of Mind

You've read all the articles, joined the mom groups, and even filled out a detailed perfect birth plan template. Delayed cord clamping? Check. Minimal interventions? Check. You feel ready.

That's how Camille A., 34, and Cielo M., 37, felt before going into labor. They spent time carefully planning their ideal birth experiences. But when delivery day came, both faced situations that called for quick decisions and unexpected changes.  

Here's how they approached their birth plans—what helped, what didn't—and other tips to help you prepare while staying flexible for whatever birth brings your way.

What Is a Birth Plan and Why It Matters

A birth plan is a document that outlines your wishes for labor, delivery, and postpartum care. It factors in things like whether you want an epidural, who you'd like in the delivery room, or how you want your baby cared for right after birth.

That said, a birth plan isn't a contract. Think of it as a conversation starter between you, your doctor, midwife, or nurses to get on the same page before the big day. Just remember that as much as your medical team wants to honor your preferences, they will veer off plan if that's what it takes to keep you and your baby safe during delivery.

How to Create a Birth Plan

Working on your birth plan with your partner can help you both feel more confident about giving birth.

Cielo didn't craft her birth plan alone. It was a collaborative effort with her ob-gyn, who prepared the document based on their discussions. She found comfort in knowing her doctor understood her preferences and helped translate them into a plan the hospital could easily follow.

"I gave the document to the hospital’s delivery department. It stated which medications should be given and the diet I can consume during labor."

There is no right or wrong way to create a birth plan. Some keep it simple with just the essentials while others are highly detailed. It's really about deciding what is important to you. To get started, consider adding these to your document.

Personal information

This allows the medical staff to access key details quickly and inform you or your partner about any changes. Put these details at the top:

• Your name and due date
• Birth partner’s name and contact information
• Ob-gyn or midwife’s name
• Hospital or birth care center of choice

Labor support

Going through labor can be intense (and painful!). So, think about what will help make you comfortable. Here's a potential checklist:

• Prefer to [to sit down or walk around] while going through labor 
• Hope to have soothing music and dimmed lights
• Want to be able to drink water 
• Need my partner in my room 
• Okay with a birthing ball in the room

Pain management 

Every pregnant woman is different. Talk to your doctor about your options for pain relief during labor. Some questions to ask yourself:

• Do you prefer natural pain relief like breathing exercises? 
• Are you open to drug-assisted pain management like epidurals?
• Will you have an epidural as soon as possible, or should it be administered only when necessary?

Delivery preferences

Doctors will always lean towards vaginal or normal delivery because it is generally the safest method. Vaginal birth usually leads to a quicker recovery time, lower chances of infection, and immediate skin-to-skin bonding with the baby.

However, you might want to have a water birth, or vaginal birth after Cesarean (VBAC). If that's the case, talk to your doctor about whether these options are available for your pregnancy and prepare for the "what-ifs."

You can think about adding some delivery preferences to your birth plan, like:

• Perform a [horizontal or vertical incision] in case of a Cesarean delivery 
• Wait for water bag to break naturally 
• Give episiotomy (the surgical tear on the vagina usually done during a normal delivery) only as a last resort 
• Delay cord clamping 
• Let my partner catch the baby or cut the umbilical cord. 
• Allow a lotus birth, where the placenta remains attached to the baby until the umbilical cord naturally falls off.

Postpartum care

How would you like those first moments with your baby to go? In the Philippines, the "Essential Newborn Care" or "Unang Yakap" protocol set by the Department of Health is set in motion after a mom gives birth. As soon as your baby comes out, the doctors will place them on your chest for skin-to-skin contact, and you'll start breastfeeding right away.

Go over the birth plan with your partner or whoever will be with you during childbirth. They can help convey your wishes to your healthcare provider, especially if you can't.

Your Birth Plan vs Hospital Policy
 

You may prefer a water birth but check if your hospital has the facility to support it.

Cielo, whose daughter Annika is now 8 months, shared most of the items on her birth plan were carried out. "I was given an epidural to manage labor pains, and I went through Normal Spontaneous Delivery (NSD)."

What Cielo didn't anticipate was not having her husband present in the delivery room due to "hospital policy."

When you're putting together your birth plan, check what the hospital or birth care center can provide. Each healthcare institution has specific guidelines on pain management options, fetal monitoring, and who can be present in the delivery room.

Find a Doctor You Trust

If the thought of making a birth plan makes you anxious, don't hesitate to ask for help. Research can go a long way, but clarifying your preferences with your doctors is essential. 

Camille and Cielo pointed out how important it is to believe in the experts. "It helps to have a competent ob-gyn and anesthesiologist you can trust," Cielo shares.

"You may have a million questions about pregnancy and delivery so remember that your ob-gyn is the best person to ask," Camille adds.

Camille was mentally and physically prepared for NSD, but her baby, Ina, had other ideas. "My little one really took her precious time in my tummy and showed no signs of coming out even at 39 weeks."

Her complete trust in her doctor helped her cope with the reality of having an emergency Cesarean delivery. "I never expected that I would go through labor for almost three days, but I just took it one day at a time. My ob-gyn eventually decided we should do labor induction already. She really tried her best to give me the birthing experience."

It's natural to feel disappointed, anxious, frustrated, or even guilty when birth plans change. But obsessing about it won't help in making sure you have safe and healthy delivery. Focus on what you can control and remember your health and your baby's well-being are more important than "sticking to the plan."

Looking for more expert tips to support your pregnancy and childbirth? Join ParenTeam’s Facebook group!